


held their breath

by santanico



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Cunnilingus, Established Relationship, F/F, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 18:26:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10859589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/santanico/pseuds/santanico
Summary: “You’re wrong. You’re wrong, Luce, you have to believe me. No one resents you. No one isscaredof you. You survived. That’s incredible.” The only thing Lucretia believes at the moment is if Lup didn’t think Lucretia would flinch, she’d crawl over the desk, wrap Lucretia in her arms, and refuse to ever let go.





	held their breath

“Oh, wow,” Lup says.

She looks just like she did a century ago. Her hair is dirtier blonde than Taako’s and her dark, freckled skin looks lit from within, at least to Lucretia. She rolls her shoulders like she’s still not used to being physical again, licks her lips and eyes Lucretia’s office and then continues when Lucretia doesn’t say anything.

“It’s a good look. I mean - you know, the whole, the silver fox thing you got going on?” Lup crosses her arms and grins, all shiny teeth and laugh lines. “Man, you look pissy. Is your face gonna be constantly stuck that way?”

Lucretia swallows and clenches her fists against her desk. “You…”

“I’m back, baby,” Lup says, throwing her arms in the air and wiggling her fingers. “I’m back. We’re back. So why do you look so unenthused?”

“You were...I was… _we_...” The words don’t come. They’re trapped somewhere, in the back of Lucretia’s mind and underneath her lungs. That’s where she’s kept them safe for so long, after telling so many lies and losing so many fights. And on the very tip of her tongue are the memories. Walking along the beaches of ghostly planets, fighting off hordes of giant birds, dying every goddamn time and coming back and reliving their fears and emotions and plans all over again.

“I know, Lucy.”

“Don’t - don’t call me that.” Lucretia bites her tongue and looks at her desk.

Lup bumbles onward. “I know it’s kind of awkward, what with Taako’s new boyfriend being a former death bounty hunter or whatever, but they figured things out, right? And I know it’s weird, like, I was in Taako’s goddamn wand the whole time, but look, if I could have talked to you any earlier, I would, okay? So don’t be mad, right?”

“I’m not - that’s - that’s all you have to say?” Lup startles as Lucretia slams her first into the mahogany of her desk, this desk that she built, all on her own. “We finally see each other again and all you can do is...act like it’s some kind of joke?”

Lup’s expression falls and she drops her arms to the side. “I know this was hard for you,” Lup says, softer now. “But let’s be real...I don’t know what to say.”

Lucretia sniffs and brazenly rubs the back of her hand over her eyes, wiping the tears back and hoping to someone that Lup won’t have noticed. 

“You’re incredible. How’s that?”

Lucretia breathes in through her mouth and stares down at the papers neatly lined on the desk, the quills stacked in glass jars.

“It’s a nice desk. I’d stare at it too, if it were mine.” Lup is quiet for a moment, simmering. “You did so much. I can’t even imagine it. And Lucy, I know I can never understand what you went through, I know it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t easy for me, either.”

Lucretia blinks. Her eyes are still blurry with tears. She tries to dig back through her memory, back to the last time she cried. Was it when Taako and Merle said Magnus was dead? She hadn’t believed it at first but it had eventually sunk in and she had sat behind this very desk and wept. But that hadn’t been crying like this. Just drainage. She was tired. She still is tired. She blinks harder, glares at the two drops that land on her desk.

“We all lost so much trying to get you back.”

Lup chuckles. “Not just me.”

Lucretia stares at her finally, then shakes her head. “It was always you.”

“Shut up,” Lup says, quieter this time. “You wanted to find the rest of them more than anything.”

“Maybe. But in the end, it was about a lot more than that. I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything. I made do with what I had. I couldn’t tell Taako.” She scoffs. “Bastard wouldn’t have believed me. Probably would have sung Merle and Magnus in and smited me where I stand.”

Lup worries her lip between her teeth. “I never resented you that. You have to know that, right? I’ve never been angry at you. Not really.” She wrings her hands together.

“I would understand if you were,” Lucretia says. She drops her head again, sighing. “But it doesn’t matter. The past is the past. For me, for Merle and Taako, there are no new bodies, no fresh starts. I can’t just snap my fingers and be someone else again.”

Lup is silent for a minute. “I know. I didn’t mean to…”

Lucretia huffs a breath, cutting her off. “That’s not what I meant. I...I’m happy. Really, I am.” She sinks into her chair, spreading her hands out on the desk. She looks at the rings on her fingers. Stiff, aging fingers. “You probably got the rundown from someone, right? Before you came here? What I did.”

“Taako told me,” Lup says.

“Sit down.”

Lup sits. “Twenty years is a lot, but we can make up for it. And whatever happened down there, whatever you _did_ , I know you did it to survive. You can’t hold yourself responsible for that, it’ll eat you alive.”

Lucretia just shakes her head, rolling her right hand over so her knuckles brace against the wood. “I don’t care about the years, or the age. You and I were never on the same track anyway. And we had our hundred years, didn’t we? That doesn’t make what I’ve done anything less...” She used to write every day, thousands of words. She still has parchments stacked in magically locked doors and hidden in hallways. She used to express herself. Since Wonderland, that’s felt impossible.

“Don’t say that,” Lup says, her voice rising to nearly a shout. “I...Sorry. I just can’t think like that. It’s too early to think like that.”

Lucretia presses her lips together. “I’m going to dissolve the Bureau. Once everything is secure, once we can ascertain that the Hunger is really, truly gone, and once we can know that everyone here will be safe, have proper lives, proper homes...I’m going to let them all go. They can forget if they want to, but I won’t keep them any longer than I must.”

“Lucy...You didn’t trap them here.”

“Didn’t I? Wasn’t it just an elaborate ruse to bring back the only people who mattered to me? It was selfish. I don’t need to be protected from that. You don’t need to protect me, Lup.”

Lup shakes her head, more vigorously this time, brow furrowed and lip pressed hard between her teeth. “You think Killian, Carey, Angus - Merle and Taako, Magnus and No3113, you think they feel like they were forced to do this? I don’t think they regret a moment under your supervision.” Lup smiles again, weakly. “Your direction, if you will.”

Lucretia snorts. “I’m sure Davenport can’t wait to be out of my sight.”

Lup moves so suddenly that Lucretia jerks back, ready to grab her staff leaning against the wall several feet away, but all Lup does is grip her hand. She squeezes so tightly that Lucretia’s heartbeat quickens, but she relaxes when she looks up and sees Lup’s eyes, her mouth slightly open, bottom lip quivering.

“You’re wrong. You’re wrong, Luce, you have to believe me. No one resents you. No one is _scared_ of you. You survived. That’s incredible.” The only thing Lucretia believes at the moment is if Lup didn’t think Lucretia would flinch, she’d crawl over the desk, wrap Lucretia in her arms, and refuse to ever let go. 

Lucretia’s throat aches. With her free hand, she cups Lup’s cheek.

“I missed you,” she says, frowning as her own voice cracks. Lup’s expression is priceless, somewhere between a laugh and bursting into tears, and she closes the inches between their faces to kiss Lucretia hard on the mouth. The clash of it almost hurts, Lup’s teeth digging into Lucretia’s lips and their tongues sliding together. Lucretia nearly forgot what this kind of electricity felt like, rocketing through her body, and it shatters all of the composure she had managed until that point.

Lup drags her closer, hand on the back of her neck, and Lucretia pushes herself to her feet and clambers over the desk, knocking papers and pens and files to the floor. A tiny, logical voice in the back of her head tells her this is stupid, possibly the dumbest thing she’s done since she risked her twenty years with a laugh, happy to shed them from her body that had already lived so long. Lucretia stands before Lup, leaning back against the desk, and Lup wraps her arms around Lucretia like a vice. The anxieties buzzing in Lucretia’s head start to fade.

Lup works fast - she was always handy, learned some from watching Magnus and Merle - pushing back unnecessary pieces of Lucretia’s cloak, finally getting it off her form and onto the floor. Lucretia’s hands fumble as she reaches for Lup’s shoulders. Lup is faster, pushier, kissing Lucretia’s jaw and grazing her teeth along her neck, but Lucretia doesn’t back down, shucking the tunic out of Lup’s leather pants, sliding her fingers across the muscle underneath, smooth and new and so familiar.

“Here, settle down,” Lup says, nearly breathless, and they both pause for a moment. Lucretia licks her lips and hoists herself up on the desk, keeping balance with her feet touching the floor. Lup stares at her for a moment and then goes for the buttons of Lucretia’s high-waisted pants, silk-like much smoother than the tanned leather of Lup’s. It’s a strange feeling, hot and revealing and nerve-wracking. Her legs are thinner than they once were, less sinewy with the fat and muscle she’d maintained when they - when she - was younger. She hasn’t been this conscious of herself in decades, hasn’t even thought about herself sexually in any manner since Wonderland. She half expects Lup’s expression to fall but she just smiles and drops to her knees.

“Oh.”

“Hush,” Lup says, peeling the fabric down her legs. Lucretia’s underwear are fitted and black, and Lup doesn’t hesitate to pull those away too. Lucretia is cold for a second, but also hot to her center, and Lup shuffles forward and presses her tongue gently to Lucretia’s cunt.

Lucretia lets out a soft breath and tries to loosen her hold on the edge of the desk. Her head spins as Lup parts her with the tips of her fingers and leans back, using her tongue to draw a line from Lucretia’s hole to her clit. 

“I missed this,” Lup mumbles, only slightly muffled against Lucretia’s body. She’s wrapped her arms around Lucretia’s thighs to keep her steady, and just as Lucretia tries to say something - something witty or at least sarcastic to make Lup laugh - Lup presses forward again, flicking her tongue, circling it around Lucretia’s swollen clit. Lucretia digs through her mind but she can’t remember the last time she was wet like this, panting and hopeless and so tense. Lup hasn’t forgotten a thing, sinking two fingers into Lucretia as she continues rubbing her tongue across Lucretia’s clit. It’s perfect, mesmerizing, and Lucretia starts to see thousands of stars popping on her eyelids, but then Lup starts to slow down, resorting to broad sweeps of her tongue.

“Fuck you,” Lucretia laughs, and Lup hums a simple tune against her cunt. “You absolute bastard. Please.”

Lup doesn’t argue but she draws back, sliding her fingers out of Lucretia and leaning back on her knees. She grins as she wipes her mouth and Lucretia is quivering, her thighs tense and her shoulders starting to ache too, but she’s too anxious to move. Lup stands up and moves in closer, resting her hands on the desk besides Lucretia’s hips.

“Can I fuck you?”

Lucretia shudders and closes her eyes.. “Yes,” she says, with barely a second of hesitation. Lup doesn’t hesitate either, undoing her pants and pushing them down her thighs. She’s tucked herself away carefully in her underwear - white instead of black like Lucretia’s, they look cotton, much more comfortable - but it only takes her a moment to undo that work. Lucretia reaches for Lup’s cock when she frees it, fingers trembling as she wraps her fist around the shaft. Lup sighs and presses her nose to Lucretia’s cheek, warm breath on her skin, and Lucretia jacks Lup for a moment until she’s fully hard, wetness forming at the head.

“C’mon, can I?” Lup says softly, sliding an arm around Lucretia’s waist and squeezing her hip bone. Lucretia swallows and shifts, and together they line Lup’s cock to Lucretia’s opening and shift in tandem to meet each other. Lucretia gasps and groans as Lup breaches her, and they both move slowly, the room quiet now besides their breathing, as Lup adjusts and Lucretia relaxes.

“It’s okay,” Lup whispers, shifting and then thrusting forward, deeper into Lucretia. “Luce...God. You’re so good.”

“Shut up,” Lucretia hisses, and Lup laughs and thrusts again, their hips meeting. Lucretia manages to wrap her legs around Lup’s waist, and it makes it a little easier to keep balance with Lup leveraging herself on the desk with her palms. 

“I missed this,” Lup says, the words pressed close to Lucretia’s throat. Lup is able to keep them both steady as Lucretia lets go of the desk and grips onto Lup’s arms instead, and if she could get them any closer, make their bodies press any further, she would. Lup’s good at that, steadiness, and her pace quickens as they both get better at staying upright, adjust to being this close again, to the warmth and the pressure.

It doesn’t take long for Lucretia, who mumbles, “Just - just a little more, I…” and clenches around Lup as the orgasm grows in her abdomen before blooming into existence with sudden clarity, twitching muscles and tightened fingers. She hears Lup breathe her name, low and quiet and it’s the loveliest thing she’s ever heard. Lup holds her tighter, lets out a sharp gasp and a low moan, and comes just as Lucretia relaxes and loosens in her arms.

“‘Atta girl,” Lup says into Lucretia’s hair, squeezing her hard. They detangle and Lucretia blinks rapidly as the sensation returns to her aching muscles, her palms and toes and head. Her mind is spinning, her mouth dry, and she stares at Lup who has already turned around and hiked her pants up. She leaves her tunic loose.

“Are you…” Lucretia trails off and Lup turns back and grins.

“You look messy as hell, honey,” she says, raises an eyebrow as Lucretia glares and pulls her underwear back on, ties her pants around her waist. “Sorry. I’m not gonna dine-and-dash, you know that.”

Lucretia slides off the desk. Every muscle in her body is telling her to find a soft bed and lay down and sleep for twelve hours, but instead she picks up the pads of paper and pens scattered on the floor and begins organizing them on the desk. Lup is quiet and Lucretia tries not to look back at her.

“Do you...Do you want me to go?”

Lucretia nearly drops a notebook in her hand as she spins around. “No! No, of course - of course not. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.” And Lord, the tears are welling up again and she looks away because Lup can’t see this, can’t see her like this after all of that, it’d ruin it, she’d never be able to look this woman in the eye again.

Lup touches her shoulder and pulls her into a hug. Lucretia sobs, without wasting a second to think about it, dropping her belongs and clinging to Lup’s clothes.

“I’m not going anywhere, alright?” Lup says, resting her cheek against Lucretia’s hair. “Not tonight, at least. And we’re going to figure this out. We’re going to make sure everyone is safe and no one’s going to get hurt. I promise.”

Lucretia tilts back to look at Lup. She’s taller than her, by an inch or two, but Lup somehow still seems able to engulf her with so much warmth and protection.

“You don’t have to protect me,” Lucretia says again, sniffing. “I’ve seen it all by now.”

“I know you have, dear,” Lup says, rolling her eyes - but she still keeps smiling and Lucretia can’t help but smile too - and tucking stray strands of hair behind Lucretia’s ears. “So have I. But we’re back. How many times are you gonna make me say it?” She kisses Lucretia’s forehead and Lucretia tips forward to kiss hers back. “We’ll talk tomorrow, alright?”

Lucretia nods and wipes the tears from her eyes. “Is anyone gonna look at us weird if you follow me to bed tonight?” Lucretia says quietly.

Lup chuckles. “I don’t think so,” she says, “but I can’t promise that Taako won’t say something inappropriate. You’ll hold my hand, won’t you?”

Lucretia leans down to rest her head on Lup’s shoulder and tangles every one of her fingers in Lup's left hand. She breathes in deep, attempting to memorize the perfect way Lup smells. “I’m never going to let go,” she says.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm a cis woman so please feel free to point out any errors i may have made in portraying lup. thanks so much!


End file.
